Keeping It Real

 So...there are times that I feel inadequate as a parent.  Social media really doesn't help this feeling.

I work with students in middle school at youth group, so I also know the high schoolers because not long ago, they were in middle school.  Last week, half of the local soccer teams won their final district games and are advancing to the state level.  (From my understanding, only half of the local teams won because most of the final district games were against our second local team in that age bracket. Anyhow...)  The students were all excited!  (I know because they told me.)  The parents were all excited.  (I know because the parents shared on social media.)  This weekend, cross country and football parents seemed to be exceptionally happy about their children's sports continuing as many teams won.  Even the equestrian team advanced to the next level!  People were in plays and musicals.  The band just won a division one rating.

"We are performing our senior show!"

"My essay just won 2nd prize in a contest!"

"I cannot wait to dance in the ballet!"

I'm really glad that students felt enough of a connection to share their excitement with me.  Parents should be proud of their children's accomplishments.

Honestly, my family had a good day today, too.  However, our definitions and standards were very, very different from most families.  As an adoptive family, we have dealt with trauma, loss, and other aspects of mental health. The nature versus nurture debate seemed to lean far too much in the nature direction.

What was the criteria for a good day?  Let's see...

Nobody broke any laws. No police, court officials, social workers, lawyers, therapists, GALs, doctors, or case managers had an "urgent" nor time-consuming matter for me today. The school did not communicate with us today.  (Oh, wait!  It's Saturday! I'll take what I can get.)

To be real, adoption has been hard.  The most difficult aspect for me was to grieve the possibilities lost.  Our children have so much potential, but they have not pursued their own good.  We grieve the sporting events from which our children were disqualified, the musical pursuits that were dropped due to lack of interest, and the educational opportunities squandered. All of our kids were even kicked out of summer camp (different camps, different years). 

Back to today...I didn't hear any cussing today.  Nothing in my home was hit or kicked today.  Only twice were people looking at me in disbelief as my son loudly argued with me. (No really, this is pretty good.) We actually got to serve at the food pantry today without embarrassment of having to keep our kids "in-line."  Did I mention that we went into stores and nothing was stolen?

Maybe the best part of my day was that I insisted upon baking cookies with my youngest son and verbally fought with him until he agreed to make them.  The verbal fight included a dramatic fit from me about how "I want to bake cookies!!!"  (He laughed as I obviously was having a sarcastic moment.)

So, yeah, we had a good day.  Sometimes, it's the small things that make life good.  Although the calling of adoption is difficult, the perseverance pays off.

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm.  Let nothing move you.  Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

I Corinthians 15:58