Christmas cards…and other things that didn’t make the priority list this year.

 I love Advent and Christmas time! All of the anticipation and good vibes that come from the Nativity story, music, lights, presents, and food. Sometimes, I get so “wrapped up” (Haha. Funny, I know…) in all the experiences and memories, that I lose sight of the calling because the perfect Christmas has to have all of the “feels.”

I’m working as a full-time teacher again. Time simply escapes me. Sometimes, dinner is just a frozen pizza because that’s all of the energy I have left.

God sent his Son to the earth as a baby to become the sacrificial atonement for our sins in order to provide a way for us to have restored relationship with the God, the Father. This is a truly AWESOME gift. 

Gifts are great, but gifts amidst God’s calling are even better.

In the midst of this, I’ve been recounting what Jesus laid aside to fulfill the mission God had for himself.

Philippians 2:5-8
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Quite the legacy!  Dear Jesus, help me lay aside the privileges you have given me to serve out my calling.

Restoration

 As defined by the Mirriam-Webster Dictionary, restoration is "a bringing back to a former position or condition; a restoring to an unimpaired or improved condition." There is no greater time to consider this topic than the demarcation of the Christian holidays of Easter and Christmas.  As Maundy Thursday turns to Good Friday which collides with Easter Sunday, the believer sees desperation turn to total disappointment and agony.  However, God takes what seems to be a complete and utter mess and turns the entire assemblance of thoughts, emotions, and situations into a venue to reveal His glory.  God's unthwarted intent from the beginning of time marches forth, conquering the essence of our hearts, the realities of our circumstances, and the forbearance of his objective: RESTORATION.

God seeks to redeem people.

As Christmas nears, the season of Advent guides our hearts to wait patiently and consider God's promises and how he has fulfilled, is fulfilling, and will fulfill them.  Not only do we celebrate the first coming of Jesus to the earth as a baby, but we also anticipate the second coming of Christ as the consolation of Israel returns.

The list of redemption stories in the Bible is massive.  Many people failed in their humanity.  Many people attempted to force God's promises prematurely, causing more problems than good since God really does not need our help anyway.  God, in his timing, restores by directing human hearts.

At our house, we provided foster care and adoption for hurting children.  It's messy.  After lots of mess, my husband and I have been able to experience elements of restoration.  Through a crazie mix of firm boundaries, generosity, grace, apologies, and forgiveness, we have experienced restoration with our eldest son.  He is now 24 years old.  He has a wife and two little girls.  His perspective has changed much from when he was 18, disgruntled with us, and moved out.  God has worked in his heart to see truth more clearly.  Apologies have happened from us and to us, and through the working of the Holy Spirit, we have been able to enjoy him and his family over the past three years.  Life doesn't always turn that direction.  We still have plenty of "difficult" in our family dynamic with everyone.  Keegan has changed, but so have we because God continues to work.

God meets our needs, too. Yesterday, I almost erupted into tears as my melancholy mind considered the difficulties that have turned to joy.  We met my son's family for dinner at a restaurant.  My son's two-year-old daughter ran to me upon entering the restaurant, saying, "Gama, hi!" with her arms stretched out to give me giant hug.  I picked her up and squeezed her tightly.  If restoration were summed up in a feeling, that might be it.

A God honoring life is not about feelings but faith.  At times, the calling of the Lord does not feel well to us.  However, God does allow moments where the feelings are sweet.  Such moment spur us towards holiness.

Perspective

Here I am again, flying back from a visit with J. He’s still in need of more care than my husband and I can provide. I spent the weekend in the visitation room because we did not have off-campus privileges. We completed a 500 and a 1000 piece puzzle. We played lots of games. J acted squirrelly at times while other times were ok. I was disappointed to be inside the small visitation room.  

As I left, the tears started to flow, as is our custom. We vowed to not start crying until after dinner at least. (We definitely started the water-works before dinner!) As we searched for a staff member to let me outside, we found one with a client. All clients there have supervision, so an additional young man had the opportunity to watch J and I say our tearful good-byes. This maybe 16-year-old said, “I wish I was him,” referring to J. I responded with a confused look, to which he repeated, rather emotionlessly, “I wish I was him. I don’t have any family.”

I stood, staring for a moment, shocked at this teen’s predicament. Although I had much sympathy, I completely lacked empathy because I’ve never lived such. Simply, I said, “I’m sorry.”

With his eyes locked on my pooling red eyes, this teen said, “That’s ok. They weren’t good people anyway.” I grabbed one more hug from J and was “swiped out” of the door by the staff key fob.

My head was spinning with thoughts. How can a young man come to grips with the fact that he is better without certain influences. Why can’t we all come to grips with the “precious” things of this life that we would do well to be without.

During my visit, I had prayed for an opportunity to share the heart of the gospel message: Christ died and rose to save us! Upon talking with J, I received the same answer of, “I know; I know.”

The beauty of that message is if we lay down ourselves, we will have immeasurably more freedom.  I’ve been studying the book of Galatians lately, and chapter 2 verse 20 stands out:

“I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Christ died for love, not obedience-not some regrettable guilt-ridden slavery; he loved us. There is such freedom in that love. Selfishness only leads to disappointment and shattered hope. Accepting Christ’s gift of salvation provides mankind with everything of value in this life. My prayer is that all members of our family come to put their faith in the love of Jesus Christ.

I Hurt

I hurt.  There's not much else to say.  We visited J the last four days.  He treated us poorly.  He made his next level at the youth home only to start treating everyone else exactly like he had before the new level.  We got to take him off of campus because he was on the new level.  Most people continue to say he is making "no progress."

Well, God has a purpose for my life and a calling.  I need to press forward and be useful.  Not that my own usefulness becomes my salvation, but God's calling me to be purposeful.  He has called me ever since the day I accepted him as the salvation for my sins.  Jesus died on a criminal's cross to redeem my life.  I cannot wallow in my own insufficiencies.  I cannot sit around and wait for other people to act in accordance with God's will.  I must take action--daily action--to make use of the life God has given to me.

"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.  We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized.  We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."

-Hebrews 6:10-12

I hurt, but I am not rendered useless.